Music - the Language of My Soul

Remembering back to my childhood, raised on Southern Gospel music such as the Cathedrals and Gold City, music is embedded in me. I loved to play make-believe! One favorite memory from my years of playing make believe is singing with those groups. I used to turn the music up and sing along while pretending I was on stage with them or my own group.

Music was, and still is, a way to learn about God and express my love, gratitude, joy about Him and to Him. I have always loved to sing! Because of my passion for music and for God, I would have so enjoyed pursuing the ability of sharing that love and passion with others. However, that dream/desire was crushed with words from an adult who said that it wasn't even worth the money to pay for me to have voice lessons.

Fast-forward 20-25 years to today and you will find that it took a very long time for me to feel comfortable enough to sing aloud in congregational singing with just my husband. It took even longer to attempt to sing in choir, always fearful that someone would hear and comment about why I am in choir with an awful voice like that. The only place it didn't bother me to sing was with my school children. I so loved praising Jesus with my classroom full of kids. I knew they didn't care what I sounded like; just like God doesn't care what I sound like.

Yes, I sing in the choir. Most of the time I'm not scared or nervous anymore. However, there is a new GIANT to slay because I am part of a trio at my church. SCARED TO DEATH!!! I get up to sing and can't breathe I am so frightened. Now, before your thoughts get away from you, my only purpose for singing is to tell others about my Lord. I don't sing so people will think I am special; far cry from it!!! I just want to share with others about my Jesus.

Will I slay my GIANT? That is an unknown right now. I do know that I will keep working on it. I don't want that voice in my head and heart to win. PLEASE be careful and thoughtful of what you say to the children you influence! Your words have the ability to shape them or break them for the rest of their lives. Also, please remember that each person you meet has one or more burdens they bare and battles they fight. Encourage them! Help them! Rejoice with them! Pray with them! Cry with them! That is what the Bible implores us to do.

Silent

It's been a long while since I've posted. I like to say I've gone dark. The truth is I'm a very private person and I find it hard to express and share my thoughts and feelings. However, it's not due to a lack of thoughts or feelings. Quite the contrary, my mind is always going and it seems to be going with different threads of thoughts frequently. I've also recently realized that I'm a very sensitive soul with very deep emotions. I just don't know how to express them. 

Regarding my fibromyalgia, this year of discovered how very important sleep is! If I get 8-9 hours of sleep each night, my flares happen less often. Yay! Speaking of sleep, I need to work on shutting off my brain and going to sleep. Good night!