The Measure of Time

The Measurement of Time

As I peruse Facebook, I notice a post regarding a parent of one of my former students. This post is asking for prayer for a momma. My mind begins to wander, wander, wander back to when this student was one of mine. Yes, mine. Each student received a part of my heart during the time he or she was part of my class. This particular parent is the parent for whom I have prayed the most of all my school children. When he was in my class, I would pray that his mom would make it until he finished my room. After he left my class, I would pray that his momma would be around until he finished elementary school. Each urgent prayer was driven by specific event or time frame. I just couldn't imagine this boy without his momma. As he entered junior high and I would see posts to pray for his mom, I would pray that his momma would still be there until he finished junior high school. This line of prayer continued through high school when I would see a post about his mom's health. Again, each prayer was said for specific measurement of time. Even tonight, as I paused to pray, my thoughts went to "Lord, please be with this momma during this time. Please let her be there until her sons marry." I started to realize that each prayer was being measured by a specific event or time frame. My mind even went to the concept of I could pray for her to be there when her first grandchildren are born. That's when I realized that I, as a human, measure time by events and specific lines. That is not how God measures time. While my intentions were good and earnest, they were very limited. I should have been praying for this momma to be there until God said it was time for her to go home, until God said her work was done.

Thought: Since God is limitless, why do I limit my prayers?

Thirty Days of Thankfulness Finale

Day 28

I am thankful for my grandpa and the times I have had with him. I'm thankful for the example of hard work he has set for our family. I'm thankful for all the memories he has shared. Love this man!

Day 29

I am thankful that I can pray to God myself. I'm also thankful that my friends and family can pray to God. I'm thankful that a priest or mediator isn't needed. I'm thankful for the power of prayer. 

Day 30

Girl time is what I am thankful for today. The fact that it was family made it even sweeter. 

Week 4 of Thankfulness

Day 22

Ministries-I am thankful for the opportunities I have had to serve starting in my "home church" in my teen years, to college years and first few years teaching in AWANA, to teaching school, to children's church, to choir, to Sunday School and VBS. Many locations and many places of services. I'm thankful for them all. I'm thankful God has seen fit to allow me to serve Him. 1 Timothy 1:12 “And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry;”

Day 23

I'm thankful for times of rest. 

Day 24

I am thankful for the tradition my grandma had of giving an ornament to me each Christmas. I so enjoy putting up my tree as an adult because of all the memories I have as I hang the ornaments received from my grandma. My mom has also given me several ornaments which adds to that sweet time. Tim and I have also purchased a few ornaments. Memories, so sweet. 

Day 25 

I am thankful for my Life group and small group. 

Day 26

I am thankful for phone calls to and from family, especially with my not going home to Arkansas for Thanksgiving. So thankful that people that I love and who love me can easily be reached. Love my family. 

Day 27

Thankful for my team and how watching them allows me to connect with my daddy each week during game time. 

Day 28

I am thankful for my grandpa and the times I have had with him. I'm thankful for the example of hard work he has set for our family. I'm thankful for all the memories he has shared. Love this man!

Week three of thankfulness

Day 15

I am thankful for a God Who doesn't fit in a box. I'm thankful for the God Who defied the human mind's comprehension. God Who we can't full understand or describe. My God can't be fully described by human minds and words. I am thankful for Him. Creator. Designer. I Am. 

Day 16

This world is not my final destination; it's my hotel, my temporary dwelling place. I'm thankful for that! I'm excited that Heaven is beyond my human comprehension. 

Day 17

I am overwhelmed and humbled by God's provision as Tim and I walk this road of him being unable to work due to an accident at work. I'm so thankful to see God's caring hand on us. It's been 6 months of watching God take care of us and bless us. 

Day 18

Today I am thankful for my salvation. I didn't earn it; it's a gift. I don't deserve it; it's because of His grace and mercy. "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."

Day 19

Today I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, clothes in my closet, food on my table, in my fridge and pantry. 

Day 20

I am thankful that God gave us His written Word. 

Day 21 

I am thankful for the different jobs I have had over the years and the people I have worked with or do currently work with. I'm thankful for the different skill sets I have had the opportunity to develop. 

Week 2 of Thankful Thoughts

Day 8

Snuggle buddies! I am thankful for my babies, Jewel and Dallas. They bring me so much comfort and love. I'm thankful for the friend who blessed me with Jewel. I'm thankful we were able to rescue Dallas. I laugh at their antics and love them deeply. 

Day 9

Today I am thankful for social media and its ability to allow me to connect with people. The reaches of social media is far and wide. It amazes me that I can see what is happening in the lives of people I have known all my life down to people I've known for only a few weeks. 

Day 10

Colors, images, lights, stars, sunsets, faces, buildings, flowers, animals, the list goes on of things I can see. I am thankful for the sense of sight and what all I can see!

Day 11 Veteran's Day

Today my heart is full of thankfulness for the men and women who have served in our armed forces. Some are family members, some are friends, some are strangers. It doesn't matter if I know you are not, I am thankful for your selfless gift of time and energy and passion you gave or are giving to our country. Thank you, each and every one for the time you gave, the sacrifices you made. 

Day 12

I am thankful for family. Blood and through marriage they are all part of the community that makes me who I am. 

Day 13

Many, many families have become part of my life through the 13 years I taught full time. Many of those families have impacted my life in such a way that I am a different person than I was prior to meeting them. I am thankful for their touch in my life. I am thankful for the time I have had to invest in the over 300 children I have taught. In the year or more I have spent with each child, each child has become part of my world and heart. I rejoice when I see them rejoice, I'm happy when I see them happy, I'm sad when I see them sad, I hurt when I see them hurt. Each child holds a piece of my heart. I am thankful for them all and the time I was able to spend with them. 

Day 14

Today I am thankful for my husband, Tim. Although much of our road has been rough, we are still on the journey together. I appreciate the little things that he does for me. I'm thankful for the way he takes care of me when I don't feel well. 

Another Journal Entry from July 2014

Divorce, Murder, Suicide-what do they all have in common? Pain, death. 

Divorce is the finalization of the death, like the obituary or death certificate. The illness begins long before that; and if not properly treated, it leads to death (divorce). Pain is inflicted along the way and culminates in more pain at the end. 

Murder is death. Pain is also involved; it's different but still present. The pain there is for those left behind.  The ones wondering why; the ones left to deal with the situation and try to move on. 

Murder is a way to avoid divorce though. 

Suicide is also death. It's a way of escape for the one contemplating it. It's the last option. It's when hope is gone; when life doesn't feel worth living. Yes, there is pain involved there, too. Temporary physical pain is possible for the one involved but long term pain and possibly guilt and anguish for those left behind. The "what ifs" and the "whys" can torment those left behind as they try to process what happened and if they were responsible. 

Journal entry from July 2014

I wish I were there! Perhaps it would give me a chance to stop and figure out myself. When I lived in Pensacola, I used to go to the beach at night when I would feel like this. The strength yet calmness of the beach would sometimes soothe me. Sometimes just being able to do something outside of the norm was what was needed and the beach would work for that, too. 

Sometimes it wasn't enough though! Sometimes I needed a way to release my emotions. Wrestling is a good way to be able to finally break. Maybe that's what I need now, a wrestling match. I never win the match; I'm always shown that I'm not the strongest. I think that's good for me to be shown that I'm not the strongest. So often in life I feel like I have to be the strong one. That becomes very demanding and very draining. It's become such a way of life to me that I struggle with showing any sign of weakness. 

I'm so confused! It makes no sense to my logical brain why I want to be dominated, controlled, broken. NONE! Since I don't know how to think emotionally, I may never figure it out which is disheartening. That makes me not want to even try. 

By the way, that's who I am. If you put something before me that I don't think I can succeed at or will be good at, I just won't try. 

Seven Days of Thankfulness

Day 1

Today I am thankful for books. Books are a source of relaxation, enjoyment, escape, and pleasure to me. Books are also for knowledge and growth. 

Day 2 

As my electricity flickers this morning, I am reminded to be thankful for it. I so often forget to be thankful for the modern conveniences that I have in the US, that other countries don't have. 

Day 3

Today I am thankful for brothers, both my blood brothers, Scott and Lynn, and my adopted brothers, Jason and Larado. I am thankful for Lynn's perception to see beyond the surface. I'm thankful for the way he will be there if I really need him. I'm so proud of the Dad he is! 

I am thankful for Scott's position as my older half brother. I'm thankful for his laid back personality and the way he's like my dad. 

I'm thankful for my little sidekick, Jason. He and I were best buds through my teenage years. I'm so thankful that he finally got back in touch with me after years of MIA. 

Finally, I'm thankful for my adopted older brother who picked me. I'm thankful for his patience and endurance with me. I'm grateful for the examples he shows me of compassion and grace. I'm thankful he's the opposite of harsh and judgmental. 

Day 4

Today I am thankful for music. It has the ability to help me express my feelings. It has the ability to stabilize my mood. It allows me to cry out to God. 

Day 5

Today I am thankful for good friends who check on you and care about you. Those good friends will speak truth to you but also sit in silence with you. A truly great friend will walk through the situations with you, being by your side. It is someone you can call no matter what. 

Day 6

Today's item that I will mention that I'm thankful for is mentors. I am very grateful for those in my life who have mentored me as a teenager, young adult, and now. Their impact has been enormous. 

Day 7

Today I am thankful for fall and spring. They are such beautiful seasons. They showcase the beauty God has created. His creativity is displayed! The change in weather is also appreciated. 

Journal entry from August 2014

My heart is breaking. Today I will say goodbye to someone who sees in me what I don't see in myself. My encourager, my refuge at work finishes and leaves today. It hurts. His leaving will leave a gap in my life. He's helped me grow; I appreciate that. His mannerisms remind me of my dad; I will miss that. He was the calm in the midst of a normally chaotic day. I'm scared that I'm going to have to be that and I'm not sure I can. I'm really struggling with knowing I have to say goodbye. 

More than a boss, Leon touched my life by caring, by listening, by advising. One lesson learned that I need to remember is once I've done the best I can each day, don't regret it, don't feel guilty and stressed about what didn't get done. Just keep doing my best. It won't always be enough but it will be what I can do. I need to realize that I have to look out for me, too. He's talked to me about that but I really struggle with that. I gain my self-worth and importance and confidence from my job which means I spend too much time there so I will feel those things and satisfaction. 

I work well with Leon and I respect him and trust him. I appreciate how he always used “we” instead of you when a task needed done. Teamwork was important to him. 

Man Flu

Journal entry from July 6, 2014

Came across this pic today. 
I tried babying my husband when we first got married. Learned quickly that it just prolongs his illness. Now I have a reputation of no sympathy but he created it. 

Have a headache today. Dragged myself out of bed this morning. Went to church at FBCL this morning. Had communion. This is the second Sunday in a row, 2 different churches. Went to SS too. Been weak all day. Took a super long nap. Watching my favorite tv show-NCIS. Was supposed to do some work this weekend but haven't yet. Oh, well. Don't like the church hunt. Had a hard time talking myself into going today. Need this to stop but don't want to choose and make a wrong decision. 

I do believe that life in the past 8 years have taught me about religion and caused me to lose my faith. I identify with most of the items in the left column. Very sad what my faith has become. Of course, that leads to guilt which takes me down that same path. 

Strong

This pic is so me! I need a strong man because I'm a strong woman. It gets annoying that men think I have an attitude. I don't have an attitude (most if the time) I have an opinion and a voice and I deserve to be heard. It's when I'm treated like I don't have an opinion and a voice that an attitude develops. A strong man knows how to liberate my voice and hear my opinion and steer me. No, I'm not just referring to the male spouse. I'd prefer that All males in my life be strong. If I can push you around, I'll still like you but respecting you is difficult. Also, please don't be a wimp! Yes, I know you'll be ill sometimes and even get injured sometimes. Okay, it can hurt, you can feel bad, just don't prolong it. It's not manly! You should always be stronger and tougher than me and have more endurance! I should never think, "Man up."

Music - the Language of My Soul

Remembering back to my childhood, raised on Southern Gospel music such as the Cathedrals and Gold City, music is embedded in me. I loved to play make-believe! One favorite memory from my years of playing make believe is singing with those groups. I used to turn the music up and sing along while pretending I was on stage with them or my own group.

Music was, and still is, a way to learn about God and express my love, gratitude, joy about Him and to Him. I have always loved to sing! Because of my passion for music and for God, I would have so enjoyed pursuing the ability of sharing that love and passion with others. However, that dream/desire was crushed with words from an adult who said that it wasn't even worth the money to pay for me to have voice lessons.

Fast-forward 20-25 years to today and you will find that it took a very long time for me to feel comfortable enough to sing aloud in congregational singing with just my husband. It took even longer to attempt to sing in choir, always fearful that someone would hear and comment about why I am in choir with an awful voice like that. The only place it didn't bother me to sing was with my school children. I so loved praising Jesus with my classroom full of kids. I knew they didn't care what I sounded like; just like God doesn't care what I sound like.

Yes, I sing in the choir. Most of the time I'm not scared or nervous anymore. However, there is a new GIANT to slay because I am part of a trio at my church. SCARED TO DEATH!!! I get up to sing and can't breathe I am so frightened. Now, before your thoughts get away from you, my only purpose for singing is to tell others about my Lord. I don't sing so people will think I am special; far cry from it!!! I just want to share with others about my Jesus.

Will I slay my GIANT? That is an unknown right now. I do know that I will keep working on it. I don't want that voice in my head and heart to win. PLEASE be careful and thoughtful of what you say to the children you influence! Your words have the ability to shape them or break them for the rest of their lives. Also, please remember that each person you meet has one or more burdens they bare and battles they fight. Encourage them! Help them! Rejoice with them! Pray with them! Cry with them! That is what the Bible implores us to do.

Silent

It's been a long while since I've posted. I like to say I've gone dark. The truth is I'm a very private person and I find it hard to express and share my thoughts and feelings. However, it's not due to a lack of thoughts or feelings. Quite the contrary, my mind is always going and it seems to be going with different threads of thoughts frequently. I've also recently realized that I'm a very sensitive soul with very deep emotions. I just don't know how to express them. 

Regarding my fibromyalgia, this year of discovered how very important sleep is! If I get 8-9 hours of sleep each night, my flares happen less often. Yay! Speaking of sleep, I need to work on shutting off my brain and going to sleep. Good night!

Dealing with the Aftereffects of an Accident 10.23.10

If you have fibromyalgia, this blog should make sense to you; and perhaps, astound you. Early in the morning on Wednesday, Sept. 15, 2010, a vehicle turned into my lane of traffic causing me to T bone them and total our Ford Explorer. My husband and I were transported to the hospital via ambulance, checked out, given prescriptions to fill, and released to go home. My husband went to fill his meds-pain killers, anti-inflammatories, and muscle relaxers. I chose not to fill mine; instead, I chose to increase my amount of Zija smart mix with its natural-occurring 36 anti-inflammatories. I knew that the next few days would be tough because of the increase in stress and the trauma from the accident. I chose not to work for the next two days (after seeking advice from those I trusted) in order to allow my body to rest and start to recover. The next few days were difficult but I continued to take my smart mix. As the smart mix continued to work, I started to feel better. I went back to work Monday-it probably was too soon but I have always been one who just pushes through. I have always been determined that I wasn't going to let a condition control my life. Now it has been a little over a month since the accident, and I am doing great. I can't even tell that I was in an accident. My husband, on the other hand, is still taking pain killers, anti-inflammatories, and muscle relaxers. I am the one with fibromyalgia, but I am the one whose body has recovered. All I have to say is-there is power in proper nutrition!

Does this Describe You?

You hurt all over and feel exhausted most of the time.

Your doctor has ordered test after test, but the tests don't show anything specifically wrong with you.

Is it chronic fatigue syndrome? Depression? Lyme disease? Lupus? Could it be FIBROMYALGIA?

If you have fibromyalgia-or think you might have fibromyalgia-you are NOT alone.

It is estimated that 5 million Americans suffer with this mysterious condition, which overwhelmingly affects women between the ages of 20 and 60. It's not unusual for some patients to see as many as 10 doctors before finally discovering the cause of their pain.

And according to one estimate, it takes an average of 5 years after the onset of symptoms for a fibromyalgia patient to get an accurate diagnosis and start receiving appropriate treatment.

But there is GOOD NEWS: While fibromyalgia is chronic and can be debilitating, it's not progressive or life-threatening. And there are a number of treatments- both pharmacological and non-pharmacological- that can help you manage your condition and live an active life.

If you're reading this now, you've probably received a diagnosis of fibromyalgia — or have symptoms tha tmake you suspect that you have it.

You need the most current, reliable information on the most successful fibromyalgia treatment options available to you, so you can make the best informed decisions possible about your future.

Knowledge is key when it comes to treating fibromyalgia successfully.

Your pain is real . . . It's NOT all in your head!

Tired of hearing that you're imagining your pain?For years, fibromyalgia was considered a purely psychological condition.Now physicians understand that fibromyalgia involves the central nervous system. Yes, the brain controls the central nervous system, butt his does not mean that symptoms are "all in your head."

Physicians have been reporting symptoms of fibromyalgia since the 1800s,but it's only in the past few decades that the medical community has come to recognize and understand fibromyalgia as a unique condition.

I personally have found that a change in my eating habits and sleeping habits in conjunction with proper nutrition (Zija) have been the key to the improvement I have seen over the past year with my fibromyalgia. Check out more of my story on this blog.

Dealing Daily with Fibromyalgia (8/30/10)

As my day started this Monday morning, I knew within an hour of being out of bed that it was going to be “one of those days.” For those of you with fibromyalgia, you know to what I am referring. For me, I know that this day will be dog-eared with fatigue and pain. A year ago, that combination would have sent me into an emotional tailspin. Today, I let my thoughts dwell on it for approximately 10 minutes. The difference??? HOPE!  51 weeks ago, a friend had enough compassion to reach out to help me. He shared a nutritional product called Zija with me. With 90+ nutrients and 36 anti-inflammatories in it for a little more than $3 a day, why would I ever stop taking an all-natural product that actually helps me? I know that some of you are thinking, “Yeah, right! Her symptoms must not be as severe as mine are.” and you are rolling your eyes. You could, possibly, be right. Here is a picture of my day right now—my skin is very pain sensitive. It hurt to get dress professionally to go to work this morning. In fact, my skin is so sensitive today that when I got in the car, I could feel my clothes that I was seating on because they were causing my legs to hurt. That is just part of my issue for today but that is okay =)! I can deal with it. I have my Zija and my xm3 drink from Zija. I may even take some premium tea this morning (also by Zija). I have hope again. I know that this is temporary-possibly a retracing. When you have had fibromyalgia for 15 years, it doesn’t magically disappear. I am extremely thankful that I have hope again thanks to a good friend and Zija! I have discovered in my life that having hope is a key element to my survival and success in life.

Dealing w/ Fibro while going back to work from 8/13/10

I have been engaged in a journey to regain my health after struggling with fibromyalgia for the past 15 years. Until being introduced to Zija by a close friend, I had resigned myself to the belief that my condition would only continue to worsen each year as it had been doing for the previous 15 years.

I had the opportunity this summer to take the summer off-to step away from the routine and stress of work. Because I am a school teacher, I was able to do that. Well, this week was the first week of school so, needless to say, I am back at work. I am so thankful that I had my Moringa-based products from Zija and my xm3 drink and caps to turn to this week to help my body begin adjusting to being back in an elementary classroom. I must admit that it was a rough week for me due to the fibromyalgia, not because of my class-they are off to a great start.

Although it was excellent for me to be able to take the summer off, it made transitioning back to the classroom--a full-time job--more difficult. My pain level skyrocketed; that, in turn, caused other issues. The difference this year compared to other years of dealing with the pain was two-fold: first, I knew that I had a product that would work, I just had to adjust what and how I was taking my Moringa-based products from Zija --smart mix, xm3 drink, and xm3 caps. Secondly, emotionally and mentally, I knew I could and would get through this rough patch because I had been through it before. After 10 months on Moringa-based products from Zija, I must still admit that I am amazed with the results! HOPE--that is what I have this year in August that I didn't have last year in August. Who do you know that needs hope??? Whose life can you change with Moringa-based products from Zija??? If you are skeptical like I was, this fact is for you--the company has so much belief in their product that they offer a money-back guarantee. How much money have you spent on coffee, cokes, and energy drinks? How much money have you spent trying to lose weight? How much money have you spent supplementing? Try it, you will love it!!!

Having an Advocate!

Having an advocate is vital! Having a support team is incredibly helpful. The following section was written by one of my very first advocates. This is his view on fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia - a mysterious if not unknown condition, a condition for the longest time that was thought to be in a person's head. I, myself, until recently, had never been exposed to a patient with fibromyalgia that was debilitating. All of my patients in the past had isolated issues with it instead of total body discomfort due to the pain. That has all changed since Oct. 09, I have been challenged with one of the most severe cases of fibromyalgia in my 25 years as a clinical nutritionist. The best way to describe this case of fibromyalgia is a body in constant pain with no hope of relief - a body severely deprived of nutrients; a body so toxic that any situation sent this person into excruciating pain that eventually leads to depression. People who suffer this severely have a tendency to withdraw from all forms of socializing and live life minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, praying for an end. Since Zija, these people now have hope. With detoxification and nutrition all-in-one, the moringa tree has amazing healing and detoxifying properties; the two areas that must be addressed in order to see improvement with this condition. The problem is there is a "Catch 22" with this condition; the body is so toxic that these toxins compete with the nutrients in the diet, making absorption very difficult. Without proper nutrition to the detoxification organs, the body becomes more toxic. Even if you are eating proper nutrients, the body has difficulty absorbing it as the body gets more and more toxic. Never before have I seen a product that's able to so wonderfully address every aspect of this disorder as the moringa-based products from Zija. Zija is the core nutrition that makes everything else better. -MoringaMedMan

YSS Athletics Started With A Challenge, Still Going Strong

YSS Athletics Started With A Challenge, Still Going Strong